Saturday, July 04, 2009

Vacation List of Randomness

Howdy, chickadeedles! I'm just hanging out at the condo, watching "Deadliest Catch" and washing clothes. Tomorrow we go home, which is going to be a big, fat boooo moment. Fie on leaving my island. Fie, I say.

Other oddments occupying my mind:

  1. Was considering a Master Cleanse when I got home to make up for the week's worth of eating as if I was storing up fat for a nuclear winter, but then realized that drinking spicy lemonade for ten days (when not guzzling laxative salt water) AND not eating would probably make me want to punch...um...pretty much everybody in the face. Anybody out there ever...cleansed? Am I the only person on the planet who thinks this is just Nutty McNutwonder-y?
  2. OMFC, Sarah Palin. Either she is one big ol' crazy maverick, or she's power-hungry, or she's about to have a big scandal rock her family AGAIN, or...you know what? I don't care. I DON'T CARE, Sarah Palin, why you do the crazy things you do, but I wish you would go aaaawwwaaaay.
  3. Is it normal to eat crab cakes for breakfast? If it isn't, I don't want to be normal. Not that there appears to be any danger of that happening.
  4. Why can't my stories wait their turn patiently and allow me to finish one of them before the others get all whiny about this or that chapter (or scene?) While I'm at it, why is it necessary to have another short story pop into my head?
  5. While I'm at it, why do so many of the stories that come to me at the beach have to do with women in messed up relationships? Is it a shipwreck thing? A siren thing? What?
  6. I'm typing this as fast as I can because the internet service here is spotty. And by spotty, I mean, pretty much not existant most of the time
  7. I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that we're going to get an RV. It'll be great, really. I mean, what's another bill, right? I kid, I kid. Sorta. Sigh. Anybody out there have an RV?
  8. The Dog Days are going to be kicking in about the time we get home. July and August in Georgia explain why so many folks here are fundamentalist Christians. It's so frapping hot and miserable that the thought of hell hits really hard.
  9. I'm glad I'm not a crab fisherman. It looks cold. And difficult. I bet it would be really hard on my skin.
  10. Another name for "sand flea" is "mole crab." Ask Jeffrey.
  11. I want a cookie.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Making a Travel Charm

Usually, I make travel charms at the New Moon, but I missed this month's New Moon because I was too busy deciding if I needed to crop a picture of a cow more. (In case you were wondering...yes, yes I do.) In any case, given our upcoming trip to the island, I figured now was as good a time as any to make one.

Charms are simple little things; most of us have them whether we think of them as such or not. They focus our intentions, make us a little more careful, give us a moment of respite in trying times. Making them ties me closer to my home and garden, my faith, and the world in general.

Having said that, please don't picture me wafting around my candlelit house, chanting as I align my chakras before crafting something all sparkly. I actually forgot to light my candle, my workspace was my dining room table, I did a lot more, "River, put down the lavender. No, don't EAT it, put it DOWN. Jeffrey, did you remember to put on your underwear?" than chanting, and the finished charm was not so much sparkly. Also, I wouldn't know my chakras if they jumped up and started doing the hokey pokey.

Anywho, first I gathered up my supplies:

The white muslin is for the charm body. Up until now, I've remade the charm every month(ish), but that offends my environmental sensibilities and takes up a lot of time. The idea today was to sew a bag that could be reused. The greenery is mountain mint (a traditional "traveler" herb), lavender (a soothing aromatherapy herb and one associated with peace--I DO have two kids, y'all), and lemon balm (a "soother", but its other name--Sweet Melissa--also has special meaning for Will and I. Also, the plant needed pruning.) The wad o' stuff on the stone disk is dirt from our yard; a little bit of home to remind us what we're coming back to. The tear-drop shaped thingy is an old turquoise earring that used to belong to my grandmother. My parents gave it to me when she died and I was supposed to use it as a pendant, but I could never find a chain that suited it and it always lay oddly on my chest. Turquoise was a traditional "safe travel" stone for some Southwestern Native Americans, so when I was looking around for a stone to go on a travel charm a year ago, the earring seemed to suit. Also, hey, grandmother vibes. Can't go wrong with that. The pen and paper are for writing a shout out to the universe. I have plans to make my own paper sometime this decade for my charm purposes, but for now, I use typing paper. The scissors are for cutting stuff, because I prefer not to use my teeth.

That little dot? A spider. I thanked her for not eating me and put her outside.



I cut out two pieces of the muslin, giving them a sort of roundish, beaker-ish shape. I thought about square, but square doesn't suit this kind of work very well. Then I sewed one side of each of the pieces together, using a 1/4 inch seam allowance--I needed as little material taken up as possible.



I ironed down a half-inch flap at the top and sewed the bottom of the flap, creating a tunnel for the drawstring-to-come. Putting in a drawstring will allow me to use the charm body over and over again.



Then I sewed up the bottom and other side, making sure not to sew the drawstring tunnel (is there a technical term for this?) up. What? Oh, yeah. My hands have always been that wrinkly. Weird, hunh? Did you notice my unmanicured fingernail, too? I should be a hand model.



I turned that sucker right-side out and sewed the earring on with taupe thread. I had considered beading wire, but the thread was less noticeable and easier to work with. More noticeable is the lopsidedness of the charm body. But isn't the earring priiiddddyy?


Now I stuffed the body full of earthy goodness. First came the dirt, then the mint. Lavender came next. This particular plant smells a lot like honey. I luff it. Wow, my hands really ARE wrinkly, aren't they?



Next, I wrote my shout out on a strip of paper. Why the "warm," you might ask? I don't know. Given that it's hot as poo outside, it seems a poor choice of words. I just wrote what popped in my head, which strangely popped in to the tune of "For the Beauty of the Earth." Again, I don't know. I rolled up the strip and poked it into the body.



I followed the strip with a handful of Sweet Melissa leaves and then a twist of all three leaves. The body was now full and ready to have the drawstring inserted. I hate this part. Drawstrings are hard. I looked around for a safety pin to use, but couldn't find one. I fashioned a pokey-thing out of a Sweet Melissa stem, which got stuck in the tunnel. I finally got the drawstring through with a pine needle, which sounds a lot more earthy-mystical than it really was. I just couldn't find anything else to use and Will was impatient to get on the road for Jeffrey's OT appointment. I wound up finishing the charm in the car. Typically, I use green or blue thread in my charms. But this yellow seemed sunny and beachy and right, so yellow it was. I think it looks cool with the turquoise.



Here's the finished charm, hanging in place and doing its job. Yay!


Travel charm made. Now I just have to wash clothes, buy some beachy mess, make some cookie dough, clean out my fridge, and keep away from the books I bought to read on the island.

Is it Sunday yet?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Graffiti as Social Commentary and a Cow in a Pond

I can't BELIEVE I didn't show you this photo yesterday:

This one was tweaked hardcore, with lots of blurring and color boosting (to play up the insane rareness of this steak--can I get a moooooo?) and general rah rah with help from The Pioneer Woman's excellent photography tutorials. (Warning: toodling around on the rest of her site might prove addictive and render you incapable of doing anything but sitting around reading her blog and eating caramel rice puffs for a week. Just saying.) Anyway, the original picture was this:

I'm sure I would have found the whole thing much more appetizing had I not just eaten my weight in the peanut/chocolate chip/dried cherry snack mix I'd nervously snarfed during a thunderstorm.

On to the ATL, where I was tickled pink to snap this bit of graffiti which has burned a hole in my brain for about a year now.

I mean...what? To me, it's one of two things: either A: the "artist" was hanging upside down over a busy interstate and his buddy was dithering about cops and the need to hurry up and cool daddy lost his head and forgot how to write a "c" upside down, thereby incurring the wrath of his fellow underground hardcore band members, who were counting on him to promote Comet Knife's debut, self-titled album. Or B: the "artist" has been failed so much by society that not only did he join a gang with a truly horrendous initiation ceremony, he also was denied an education which would allow him to correctly spell said gang's name. Sad, isn't it? Will has invented some sort of secret society around Vomet Knife which seems to blend elements of Fight Club and Eyes Wide Shut with a little Dangerous Minds thrown in there. When I protested, he said, "You don't understand the urban lifestyle the way I do. Correct spelling is sooooooo aboveground." Bless his heart.

Further down the road:

Add ImageBoo. That is all.

I was impressed the ballsiness of this guy. His car was PLASTERED with these stickers. I mean, he was a dedicated protester. I will note, however, that his choice of words regarding the multiple faulty transmissions he'd suffered lead to a lot of confusion at first. And a burning desire to watch The Birdcage.


Finally, out in the country, where everything is, in general, better. Ask this cow.


On second thought, don't ask her. She'll just get all pissy and be like, "Lady, you totally ruined my mud bath." There is nothing worse than a pissy cow. Although, now that I think of it, she might just be upset about the first picture, which you can hardly blame her for.


We pretty much spent the entire visit in the pool, because it was hot in Cowtown, y'all. HOT. The kids stayed up late every night and the adults (and I use that term VEERRRYYYY loosely) stayed up even later.

I don't know how I got this shot. No idea. A cannonball AND its splash? Crazy. I want you to note that although transparent, Hayden still points his toes like a champ.


And Hartwell walks on water.

Or spins. Whichever.

Clearly, I forgot to switch my camera to the night setting. And didn't edit the pictures at all. Aaaannnd they were influenced by the pool's trippy light switcheroony.

Lucky for you, I'm all out of pictures to be fiddled with. Don't be surprised if you tune in tomorrow to find flaming piles of laundry or various shots of Will gritting his teeth as he mows the lawn.